About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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