ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
