Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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