i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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