I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have fence marks all over my body
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
True strength comes from lack of pants
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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