Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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