I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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