you're like a bully in the Christmas story
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
