he shaved USA in his pubs
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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