aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
