Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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