I think I died a long time ago.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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