If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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