I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize