yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
