I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
