is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
operation have a gay friend backfired
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
