so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
