I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
