the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
