before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
