Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
