listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Tornado booty call.. dedication
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
