i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
