turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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