He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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