ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize