If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
