i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
