Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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