Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize