Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
