you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize