Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
