Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
