The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
where are my eyebrows?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
