maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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