did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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