It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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