We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
