haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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