Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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