I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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