Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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