There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She bit a glass in half.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
