She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
