Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
