# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
