The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
