: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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