a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
