I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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