I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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