let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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