is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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