I hate all girls vehemently.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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