After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
