im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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