I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
