Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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