All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
