dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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