I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
