3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
