You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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