i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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